When you start doing anything new, there is a moment of awkwardness.

You learned to walk when you were little…you fell down, you got back up again.  Can you accept falling down again now that you’re all grown up?

The ability to accept temporary awkwardness is one of the greatest abilities of any creative professional.  No matter what you do, you have to be willing to move through the learning of new skills and abilities to reach towards Mastery.  If you are willing to push through the stage of awkwardness, then you have the ability to step up to greatness.

I know many very creative people who keep being stuck in their old ways because it feels comfortable.  Comfortable is a nice cozy feeling. When it comes to creativity it is a security blanket.  But you had better yank that blanket away and burn it.  Get yourself uncomfortable, or you’ll end up like these people.

• The musician who stays with the punk rock scene, yet secretly yearns to go to Nashville and record a country album
• The artist who paints portraits but feels revolted by portraits.  She wants to sculpt instead
• The mom who wants to go back to work but likes not having to answer to a boss.  She secretly likes how being a stay-at-home mom is easy compared to going back to work.
• The graphic designer who is still using outdated Adobe because they’re afraid to learn new software.

Are you comfortable right now?  Are you stuck in your ways?

If you become too comfortable, you crumble. You stagnate. Your creativity will decline faster than osteoporosis.

I am totally in a state of complete awkwardness right now.  I mentioned on Twitter a few weeks ago that I feel like I am back in high school...I am learning so many new things right now.  I just switched over from 10 years in the PC world to Mac.  Going from no smartphone to iPhone.  New software.  It feels like new everything.

I could just give up, and go back to my PC, but that wouldn’t be creatively rewarding. I know that this is the path I must go through right now. It was hard at first, but it feels better after awhile. I know it will feel nice when I feel “comfortable” with everything I am learning right now.

But I know better. Once I feel comfortable I know it is a sign I need to find out where to take my learning next.

I ask you:   Are you willing to be awkward in return for learning new skills and becoming great at what you do?

If you’re not willing to be awkward now…you just may end up living in awkward infinity as you loose touch with yourself, society and the rest of the world…just like the cat guy in the photo above. You’ve been warned..

~ Heidi

[photo via the web, source unknown]

Multiple people in my life, all wanting me to change.

They can feel it.  They can feel that I am fighting for my creativity.

What I realized tonight is that not only am I fighting for my creativity, I am fighting for my Life.

And it frightens them.

Are you in a similar situation?  Can you feel the battle going on?

Are you fighting for your creativity too?

Some people want me to have ” a normal schedule”. Some of them want me to quit writing and “get a real job”. And some of them just want me to sit in their living room and babysit them as they watch the Food Network.

Right now I am working on finding out how to be creative again. I used to have my own way of working, my own writing style, but last year I was left with an emotional Tsunami. So I have to begin again. Entirely from scratch.

I know I can seem like brassy bitch right now. I don’t care. I know I am in the fight for getting my creative life back, and I’m not letting go.  As JS put it tonight, I am a wild animal being threatened to go back into the cage of obscurity.  Well… I’m not going.

I can tell, you’re just like me – You are wild too! You have dreams inside of you, wild dreams yearning to break out. You have to create. It wants to come out.  You have a life to live, the life you’ve always wanted, and Dammit you’re going to live it!

The most important thing you can do is keep holding on to your creativity. Hold on to your dreams, your ideal life.  Don’t let them break you.  You are wild. You deserve to be free!

Oh yes, “THEY” will keep trying. They will push you, prod you, get in the way, annoy you, do anything to get in the way of your work.  Eventually they are going to give up on you, and think you are a lost cause.  It’s the greatest gift they can ever give to you.

Until then they’re going to keep trying to tame you. And you’re not going to give up.

Promise me you’re not going to give up. Say to yourself:

I promise I’m always going to be wild. Wild and Free.

~ Heidi

———

——> If you enjoyed this post, would you consider signing up to get more thoughtful ideas into your inbox?  The Letters are short posts emailed daily that are kind of the “back stage” to the posts appearing on this blog.  Unpublished content, additional links, ideas, and more. It is quick and easy to sign up and you are free to leave at any time. Sign up to the Letters today!

P.S. JS Ohlander posted an interesting post about a very important concept for you creatives out there: Producing VS Consuming. Very thoughtful in-depth article. Check it out.

[photo courtesy of KellBailey]

 A few highly creative people have been talking about creativity and the elusive night hours.  I recently wrote about this creative phenomenon in a recent blog post getting a lot of traffic on my website entitled Music Vampires.

In that post I was writing specifically about how music is best created at night.  Today I want to go further and discuss the theories as to why we are more creative at night:

REASONS WHY CREATIVITY HAPPENS AT NIGHT:

Why do many people feel that creativity happens at night?  Let’s explore a few possibilities:

Geographical:  The energy at night is different than the day time.  There is something very powerful about creating in a geographic area where the majority of people around you are asleep.  Perhaps all their mental chatter is resting, or better yet, tapped into the powerful creative world of dreaming…the only time most of those people are ever connected to their true creativity.  When your town is asleep, it means less traffic in the streets, and it seems like less people are around (they’re all asleep waiting to work their 9-5 jobs).  It frees us up to do what we need to create at night.

Peace and Quiet: Night time is for some of us the only time when we are not interrupted.  So many of us get phone calls, texts, massive amounts of emails, knocks at the door, UPS packages, roommates/parents/children pestering us with their needs.  The night time is the only time when we have a moment away to go and do our real work.

Left Brain/Right Brain:  I have not yet found the source, but apparently there is growing scientific research showing that the left side of our brain is dominant while the sun is up, and the right brain takes over at night.  This would suggest that there is a biological connection to creativity at night.  I certainly would agree that I feel my creative self works at a higher level of abilities during night time.

Inhibitions: Some people feel that they are able to create at night because that’s when they drink Absinthe/smoke marijuana/have sex with 3 prostitutes at once(heck, why not do all three of these at once) …or any other activities that reduce your inhibitions and therefore reduce the barriers to their inner creative selves.  Many artists have ended up killing themselves from their reckless substance habits, all because they never learned how to create without their substance of choice.  Thankfully, living life is a perfectly good “high” for me and I’ve never needed any substances to feel creative…but a little tea once in awhile keeps my brain awake to keep creating.  This need to remove inhibitions/the need for substances could possibly be the largest reason why most “regular” people are not creative.

Train Your Brain to Be Creative at Night: When you create your own time to be creative, the habit of creativity takes over and allows you to be creative during the peak hours of when you are habitually creating your best work.  I know this has been true for me, as it used to be that the best times for my work would be after 7pm. That was 10 years ago. Now I’m the most creative any time after midnight.  As your daily schedule changes, so does the time when you are most creative.

Why is it that people are creative at night?  Obviously it is a combination of a lot of things.

Are you creative at night? Let me know via email or Twitter. I’d love to meet more Night Owls and Creative Vampires out there!

~ Heidi

——> If you enjoyed this post, consider signing up to get more thoughtful ideas into your inbox with my Letters.  The Letters are short posts emailed daily that are kind of the “after party” to the blog posts appearing on this blog.  It is quick and easy to sign up and you are free to leave at any time. Sign up to the Letters today!

P.S. — over at JSOhlander.com, JS is talking about how he is pushing the Boulder of Resistence with the power of Momentum. Check it out.

(Photo courtesy of Medhi)

 DESTROY. BUILD. DESTROY!

This past year was my personal year of destruction. Some destruction happened to me. Some destruction I created.

Now with the New Year it’s time to build again.

Bigger.  Better.

Because nearly everything was destroyed around us, it gave JS and I a completely clean slate to choose what tools we want to use to rebuild.   Just like Steve Jobs and his wife Laurene had deep discussions about a washer machine, over the past month JS and I have discussed every aspect of our lives.

Big Questions. Little Questions. No stone was left unturned.  Perhaps you want to re-evaluate your life as well.

Here are some sample questions.

Ask Yourself Honestly:

• Where should you live?
• Where should you get your mail?
• What do you want to own?
• What do you want to use for hosting?
•  What kind of websites do you want to build?
•  How do you want to wake up in the morning?
• What do you want to do with your day?
• What do you want to wear?
• What do you want people to know about you?
• What kind of lifestyle do you want to have?
• Where do you want to travel?
•  What do we want to do with our lives?

And many, many more questions… You get the idea.  Be willing to be bold. Ask yourself anything.

In upcoming posts I will go into brief detail as to what we have chosen in regards to some of these questions, and why.

The intention of these posts is to share our thought process as to how we reached these decisions. What questions did we ask ourselves when considering options? What made the final choice, and why?

Sometimes seeing how someone else does something can be inspirational for something completely different.

~ Heidi

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, you may enjoy getting additional thoughts like this delivered directly to your inbox. My work aside from the blog is what I call the Letters, and they happen daily. Sign up for the Letters here.  I look forward to seeing you in your inbox. XoXo

Photo courtesy of Sean MacEntee

Once in awhile on HeidiOhlander.com I am going to talk about things that other people don’t want to talk about.

Like Health Insurance.

Why? Because I personally know people that have had over 100,000 dollars in medical bills this year.  That’s why.

Hopefully you don’t need heart surgery.  Hopefully you aren’t going to have an allergic reaction to a medication and end up in the hospital for TWO MONTHS. Two people I know. One person had health insurance.  The other person lost their qualification because they quit their job.  Now they don’t have health insurance. And they are screwed.

It is time to have my own personal self-employed health insurance.   I don’t have a J-O-B.  This website is my carrer, my passion, my life.  But I want to take care of myself, and at least have some catastrophic health insurance. Just in case.  So I don’t end up with thousands of dollars in medical bills.

JS and I are lucky – we are healthy, married, with no kids, and no kids on the way.  Deciding on a plan is simple.  It just takes time.

Getting your own Health Insurance can be very complicated, but there are a few websites that make it easy.

After looking at a LOT of websites, and viewing many,many plans, we went to ehealthinsurance.com and after hours of research decided on a health insurance plan.

Here are a few tips if you’re ready to get your own health insurance:

•  Decide what you really NEED.  Do you go to the doctor a lot, or is this truly insurance for accidents and other rare situations? Your insurance needs will differ greatly.
•  Research plans carefully. Look at all the conditions for each plan.  Look at the prices and what you get for each plan. We were debating between 2 different insurance companies, but it was one little difference that made us decide.
• Vision and Dental  is rarely included.  If you need either a vision plan for glasses, or a dental plan for dental work, you’re going to have to find it with additional insurance.  In our experience dental insurance rarely works for someone who needs dental work (ie. ME!) and the worst part is that they make you wait 6 months = lame.

Remember that just a few years ago health insurance was something you had in case something happened….not for going to the doctor every day.   People used to take care of themselves when they had a cold or fever.  They knew basic first aid.  Prevention is priceless.  Knowledge is power.  Keep yourself healthy, but make sure you get yourself some health insurance.

Your situation will probably be different than us, but apparently getting your own health insurance doesn’t have to be difficult.  We applied online. It felt like applying for a credit card or mortgage, but worse because it asked all sorts of health questions. It took 24 hours, and we were accepted.

If you live in Canada or any other country with standardized health care, congratulations.  Feel thankful you didn’t have to do what we just did.

For everyone else, get yourself some sort of health insurance.

~ Heidi

(PHOTO COURTESY OF THE KOREAN RESOURCE CENTER)

Steve Pavlina has recently embarked on a musical experimental journey.

One of his latest realizations is that he has realized what many of us involved in the music industry already know:

“This music vibe doesn’t seem to mesh very well with being an early riser! Is there something about music production that transform people into vampires?”

Yes Steve.  It’s true.  Music production happens at night.  It’s nearly impossible to do it any other way.

My husband, JS Ohlander, has been a professional musician for many years.  He ran a record label, signed bands, had his own band, multiple releases, cross country tours…and for the past few years he has pushed himself into practical hibernation to write his first solo album to be released in early 2012.

JS writes music, and both of us are also very immersed into the pursuit of our own personal development.

JS and I live similar lives to other personal development authors.  We:

• Read voraciously
• Conduct many personal experiments, usually simultaneously
• Have publicly experimented online with various personal experiments
• Enjoy biographies and biopics of successful people
• Are passionate about time management, personal freedom and minimalism, among other things

If you line us up against the other big names in the industry, we’d match up…..except one thing.

We stay up late.  And we like it that way.

We can’t help it.

Music simply does not happen until sundown.  The Muse does not wake up until the moon rises on the horizon.

We have tried a W I D E variety of work schedules.

Waking up at 6am.  Going to bed at 6am.  And everything in-between.

The conclusion JS and I have come to is that the ideal schedule for us is:

• Wake up at 10 am

• Music begins at sundown

• Late dinner at 10 pm

• Another music session until 1-2 am

• Try to go to bed at 2am, final lights out at 3-4 am

Music creation happens at night.  That’s just the way it works.

Now I will agree ….once you have a body of work, then you can schedule time to:

•  Edit the work

•  Record the work in a studio

•  Have the music mastered for sound quality

•  Rehearse the work for a later performance.

…Speaking of performance…

Performance also happens at night.

The music magic isn’t there until night falls.

After all, when was the last time you were REALLY excited about a 2pm Sunday afternoon show?

* crickets *

I didn’t think so.

I have been to a few day time shows, and some shows happening around 6-7pm.

THEY ALL SUCKED.

The magic isn’t there.

So it totally drives me crazy when all these personal development/self-help online gurus profess the importance of waking up early…

 THEY JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.

All of these guys listen to music created by musicians who live in the night.  And these musicians are worth millions of dollars.  And they have to get things done.  They write. They create. They record. They go on tour.

And all their favorite musicians stay up late.

So if you stay up late, I salute you.

Here’s to the crazy ones.  The ones who live by the creative Muse directing their biorhythms, orchestrating a daily schedule outside “the norm”.

And I’m sure your creative Muse salutes you for knowing when to work.

~H. 

P.S.  Vampires rarely get things done.  They are obsessed with sucking on blood and looking for girls to profess their love to so they can get a steady stream of bloodletting.  No.  Musicians are not vampires.  They are night owls.

But that is a story for another time.

(Photo adapted from the very talented landscape and astronomical phenomenon photographer lrargerich)

Tonight is the big night…

You’re climbing the stairs.  You glance at your ticket.

Balcony.  Section 3  Row C.   Seat 16.

You have reached your row; now you have to fight to get to your seat.  For every audience member, getting to your seat is a battle, especially when its a sold out show.

There are many veterans on this battle field.  They have made it to their seats.  They gloat as if they are wearing purple hearts; you don’t know what they went through to get here.  Now its your turn.   This is the final stretch to get to your seat.  This moment is a performance in and of itself.  All eyes are on you. The modern dance of avoiding strangers feet, hoping to not stub a toe and cause a ruckus.

Step.  Step.  Whoops – “I’m sorry!!” Step.  Leap – Step.  Step.  A few more.  ”Pardon me!” Step. Step. One more. Step.

Ah.  That sigh of relief.  You made it.

Here it is.

Your seat, and it feels like a victory in and of itself.   The faded red velvet upholstery feels like a throne… your throne, for you and you alone, are a King for tonight.

You look around.

This is your view for the duration of this show.  Was it what you expected? Who is seated around you? Are there any pretty girls in the audience tonight?

Envy creeps in.  No matter where you are seated, you always want that other seat, even if you are in the front row.

You accept your fate for this night only, but promise yourself that next time will be different.

Accept your throne, King of the Audience.

The performers are performing for you and only you, right? (You’d like to think so)

You didn’t bring a date. 

You felt like a renegade, deciding to go alone.  You’ve only done this a few times.  But the truth is you really want to see this performance, you want to see this moment in time sooooo badly that you don’t want to be bothered by social trivialities.

You are full of thoughts, thinking to yourself.  There is something about the energy of hundreds, maybe thousands of strangers thinking around you.  As if on a majestic drug high your ideas seem better than usual.  You think manic, lofty ideas.  You hope to remember all of these amazing ideas after the show.

Everyone is full of mindless chatter – meaningless chatter that will never be remembered again.  Mumbling that is indecipherable.  The Tower of Bable has been called from the depths of antiquity; this is part of the history of performance.  You try to play a little game with yourself to be a sleuth and find out how many conversations you can piece together.  You get bored after 2 or 3.

You look at your watch -  And then -

-  something happens -

All at once, the energy shifts in the theatre.  No one knows exactly how it started.  Perhaps a game of Telephone was exchanged from the orchestra to the lovely lady sitting in Row A, Seat 53.

You don’t need to wait for the Telephone to reach you.  The moment has happened.  It’s about to happen.

This is the moment you have been waiting for.  You know what time it is…

The music is about to begin….but not quite…

It is that moment, that quiet moment that begins right in the middle of someone’s momentarily important conversation …and right before the musicians pick up their instruments and begin.  That perfect moment in between.

The audience knows that the performance is about to begin, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Time is literally suspended in a frozen moment in time. In fact, this moment actually does not exist in time.  Time literally pauses for a moment on the playback button of Life.  This is the one grain of sand suspended in the hourglass of infinity.  This is the moment that happened right before the Big Bang, millions of years ago.

All great performers know to respect this moment.

By now you are sitting on the edge of your seat.

Simultaneously you want to hold on to this moment forever and want it to be over and have the music begin.

You can’t tell the future…you don’t know what is about to happen.  You don’t know if this is going to be the best show of your life, or the worst show that you will complain about to friends for the next 10 years.  You must submit to this moment, the moment when Everything Is About to Begin.

….not yet

….not yet

….not yet

.…not yet

You can hear a few people gasp with anticipation… they are asking themselves… is this the moment?  Is the show about to begin?

…. not yet

…. not yet

…. not yet …. wait something is happening -

….. Ladies and Gentlemen we have reached the apex of suspended time.

Please fasten your seat belts and return your trays to their upright position.  This is the moment when you get to make a wish.  God – The Universe – whatever you’re calling it these days – has given YOU this moment to be present at this performance.  This moment suspended in time feels so magical and alive…it feels even more energetic than the music itself.

Close your eyes.  Hold your breath.  And make a wish…

….oh yes oh yes the moment is still here…. hold on….not yet

….it’s almost here…the show is just about to begin…

…oh it’s fading…..you can feel it…you try to grasp onto the moment but you can’t…it’s slipping away…

The musicians have lifted their instruments….

…the music is about to start…………………………..

(original image of the Detroit Orchestra Hall by maiac )

Hello, my name is Heidi Ohlander.  Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Pisces, Aquarius Rising….

I don’t have so-called interests or hobbies.  Life is my interest.   I love the concept of Mastery, and I freely admit that I have a “hacker” type personality in the quest of Mastery.

Minnesota is my home.  I tell people I live in the Twin Cities because I love both Minneapolis and St. Paul.  I have lived in many cities in the area, and I am just getting settled into a new home for the winter.

For many years, my family declared me “unmarryable”, and were shocked that I found someone who could “handle” me.  After nine months of friends and a longer story for another time, I married my life partner, JS Ohlander.  JS is a writer/blogger/musician, currently working on his upcoming solo album to be released in Q1 2012.  JS and I have an amazing gift in that we enjoy working together.

I’ve just spent the past 5 years devoting myself to the alternative health community.  Along with my husband, JS, we created a few very popular health websites that gave us many friends, colleagues and fans.

I enjoy working on my “art” – it’s the medium that changes.  Graphic design, illustration, art direction, sculpture, ceramics, electronic music, journaling.  I want to buy a harpsichord…but I think I’m going to end up buying an amazing electronic piano or 88 MIDI keyboard.

I particularly enjoy writing electronic books, aka “ebooks”.  I plan to write and design many books in the future.

The last 2 years have personally been rough.  Usually, I am the most extroverted person you have ever met.  I have never been at a loss for words, but this grief has me in an uncontrollable vow of silence.  Finding the words to write is a struggle I have never experienced before.  It must be temporary.  I’ll let you know when the fog lifts.

Before the concept of minimalism became popular on the internet, JS and I were working on our own to minimalize and simplify not only our belongings, but our life.  We have learned so much, and we intend on sharing our knowledge of Real Minimalism with others.

This moment feels like a rebirth – I am starting life over again.  I am taking this moment as an opportunity to live life slowly – to carefully choose how to live my life from this day forward.

What better time to begin this blog again, from scratch, to chronicle my life, to spill my emotions, to share my knowledge with you.

This blog is a letter.  A love letter to Life.

I will cherish each moment creating it.

Ever the perfectionist, I want this blog to be established RIGHT NOW, with thousands of posts.  There is so much inside of me, wanting to burst out and be created.  Each post is a lesson in patience and persistence.  This is not a race.  This is life.  And life is meant to be lived one moment, one hour, one day at a time.

I know you will enjoy the experience…

XOXO,

~ Heidi

 http://www.heidiohlander.com

When I started blogging, the basic choices were either:

a) DiaryLand

b) LiveJournal

c) get your own website, but you probably won’t because it requires a LOT of complicated/mysterious coding skills

So yeah, either DiaryLand or LiveJournal.  And DiaryLand was only sorta cool for one summer.

In Blog Era #2…. There were other options:

a) Blogger

b) Movable Type

c) Typepad

d) Xanga

d) Word Press… but only really computer savvy people were using it then

e) You hosted your own site, but you paid someone to completely set it up for you, or you were a talented computer geek.

I’ve used so many different blog software services, but I keep coming back to WordPress.

And thanks to Headway, I am so excited to keep working on building this website!!!

XOXO,

~ Heidi

They are out there. Silent. Lurking.

They are out there. Watching your every move on the internet.

You don’t think they are watching you, but they read every post, every comment, every fragment of your digital life.

They are the Lurkers.

They follow your life because they have no life of their own.

Many people from your life actively, admittedly Lurk you. They want to live life through you.

There are more of them than you realize.

They got that college degree that has gotten them nowhere. They had kids. Lots of them. They married into disaster.  They have a mortgage to pay every month and it’s killing them.

They see no way out.  So they Lurk.

They are waiting for you to grant them forgiveness, to give them encouragement, inspiration.

They are waiting for permission from YOU of all people to tell them to do what they know they have to do.

What the hell are you supposed to do with them? You’re not their savior! You’re not their parent?!

But they don’t change. Things stay the same.

So they Lurk.

You must never let them stop you.

And you must never Lurk like them.

Just keep walking. Keep moving forward. Keep working on You and creating your magnificent life.

They will keep Lurking…but one day you will be so far ahead of them that you will disappear from their view.

New Lurkers will always be watching you.

Just keep moving forward.

Keep on that path you know is true in your heart.

Never. Look. Back.

Keep moving…